My peep's opinions:

9/19/2013

3 Comments

 
I would like you to read my last article published, "Sing out loud".

Give me you're opinion about whatever you think it can benefit me for my futures articles. Because I know that I have a lot to learn about writing, but that comes up with experience, or you can say you're feedback about the content from it. 
Enjoy the article.
3 Comments
Angel
9/20/2013 04:04:05 am

Im sorry about your father, i have no doubt how much you love him..

Going with the purpose of the class, i have some feedback for you:

Grammar:
You make some long sentences. For example:

1. I suppose that at the point we all are in our lives we have had our first love, I found mine when I was fifteen years old, and this song is kind of "cheesy", but for me it fits right into this kind of experience we all go through.

2. Even though I did not find it, it is part of whom I've become, because I spent studying ten years at that institution, and with that and my family, I've become the woman I am.

I think you could make some different sentences, that you used in one. Because sometimes it gets confusing to read.

In the structure of your article I have to say that I would love it, if it were written in chronological order.

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Frances
9/24/2013 01:40:12 am

Thank You, I will work on that.

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Angelica
9/24/2013 01:47:21 am

I think was clean and organized. Maybe some long sentences but i do the same, and I can understand that. But i think was really good. I'm sorry for your lost.

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